Can a Christian Sister Marry a Muslim Man?
By: Deji Yesufu
The answer I will provide is yes and no.
I hope that my thoughts on this question will shed light on the importance of faith in our walk of life; I trust that it will help my readers appreciate the power of love in the heart; and I believe it will help us all to appreciate the central place of providence in God’s workings in all of our lives.
Before I proceed, I wish to thank the leadership of this group for inviting me to this talk with the “People of Like Minds” WhatsApp group. I pray that the Lord will bless the group and bring about a healthy purpose and vision from your associations here. While there are many unhealthy and purposeless gatherings on this forum, there are many of them that will birth great visions that will change our world. The reason is that where people of like minds gather, and the vision is from God, there is no limit to what God can do with such persons. Now, back to our topic.
Can a Christian sister marry a Muslim man? In my experience, the answer is yes. My mother was a Christian woman who married a Muslim man – my father. She gave birth to five children and adopted one. I am her firstborn, though my father is second born. While that union has produced beautiful children and even grandchildren, I see now why the Bible counsels that Christian women should not marry Christian men. My parents’ marriage, like many other marriages like it, has produced the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think, in my limited understanding, a lot of the bad and the ugly could have been avoided if my mother had married within her faith. However, if she had, I may never have been produced. And so, I see this question in two ways: the gracious providence and outworkings of God, and the reason why we all must believe the whole counsel of God and obey its commands.
Marriage is a mystical thing. It is not only the product of a man and a woman coming together, but also the product of societal interactions. In a society like ours, where Christians and Muslims associate together, there will certainly be inter-religious marriages – it cannot be avoided. I remember when I was in university, a friend, a born-again brother, fell head over heels in love with a Muslim girl who was wearing a hijab. The two of them loved themselves so much, and this was happening in Zaria, northern Nigeria. I became friends with this guy because he approached me for counsel on the matter. All his friends, who are Christians, disapproved of the relationship. The same thing was happening to the girl and her friends. It became a problem for them. It got to their families, and the families also condemned the relationship. It was so bad that the girl nearly took her life. They were in this state all their undergraduate days. I think what eventually broke them up was that when they finished school, they were forced to go their separate ways. They are both married to different people today. But when I asked my guy about that girl, he still speaks about her with a lot of fondness. They never had sex, but they had a bond that was like something from heaven.
I have also heard of couples who eventually married as people of different religions, and they entered the marriage with a commitment to keep their various religions. Sometimes the man will tell the woman to raise the children in her religion (as was the case for my sibling and me); at other times, the man insists that the children must be raised in his religion. Religious conflicts almost never come up in these homes. And they go on to enjoy a blissful union. So, the first answer to the question, which I have provided as “yes”, is simply an answer that reflects societal realities. And if there is a couple in that state listening to me, and they feel they want to marry, I will counsel three things:
- Count the cost: It could turn out to be a bad decision. And in such a case, you must commit to remain in the marriage – no matter what.
- Speak to your parent. I always counsel children to obey their parents – particularly on things like marriage. Parents know better, and they would usually not give counsel based on pecuniary reasons.
- Speak to a pastor or someone of wisdom. The Bible teaches that in a multitude of counsel there is safety. Please, commit to making the right decisions. Do not make decisions half-heartedly. It could return to hunt you.
I now return to the second answer – which is this: Can a Christian sister marry a Muslim man? The answer is preferably “no”. And I will explain.
There are fundamental differences between the Christian and Islamic worldviews. If the individuals in the proposed union have a strong commitment to the ideals of their religions, there would be problems in the marriage, and to avoid those problems, a Christian sister shouldn’t marry a Muslim man. If they marry, one person’s religion will suffer. It is either that the man compromises on some tenets in his Muslim faith, or the woman looks away from some things in her faith. The problem arises when these compromises cannot be made, and heartbreaks follow. Christians who have diametrically different religious practices should not be advised to marry. For example, a Pentecostal woman, who believes in speaking in tongues, deliverance from demons, and the prosperity lifestyle, cannot marry a reformed person who does not believe these things. Perhaps I should shock you by saying that when my wife and I married in 2009, we were both Pentecostals. But since 2013, when I renounced Pentecostalism and became reformed, our marriage has suffered a lot of strain. Our marriage has not fallen apart simply because of God’s mercy. I will not elaborate any further.
If a couple enter my office and comes to seek my counsel concerning marriage, and I learn that the man is a Muslim, and that the woman is a Christian, I will counsel them to dissolve that relationship. I know the man will say that he will allow the woman to practice her religion; I know he will say that he will permit her to raise the children as Christians, etc. I, however, will not trust his judgement at that time. I have seen love cloud people’s judgement, and the moment the marriage is over, and they have eaten the apple, their senses return to them, and they renege on their words. I will counsel the girl not to marry the guy. Of course, she has the liberty to marry him – because she is an adult, and it is she who will live with the consequences of the marriage. And I also know that there are a few couples who have married like this, and their marriages went on to be blissful. I, however, think that most people who find themselves in this situation have almost always made a wrong decision.
Islam is fundamentally feudalist in worldview. It is predominantly patriarchal in practice. Women are usually only seen, and not heard from. The man may be a liberal Muslim, but the woman is not marrying only him; she is marrying his whole family, inclusive. She will have sisters in law to deal with; she will have a particularly possessive mother-in-law to deal with; she will have to deal with a father-in-law, etc. She should deal with people with a Christian worldview rather than those from another religion.
Finally, the central biblical counsel around marriage remains 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness”. When Paul penned this text, the Christians in Corinth were a group that was quite distinctly separated from the unbelievers of their society. So, marital association in this guise will be understandably distinct. However, the same principle can be brought into Muslim/Christian association today. While we can associate with Muslims on a general basis – like working with them in the office, political associations, etc, we cannot join up with Muslims on more fundamental issues in our lives, like business and marriage. Experience has shown that when these happen, the fundamental difference in the worldview of the two religions springs up. And it leads almost always to hurt and disappointments.
I hope you will bear with my political answer to this question, which is Yes and No. And I pray that the Spirit of Jesus will give each person who is seeking answers to this question an answer of peace.
Thank you for reading.
Postscript
The text above was the speech I delivered to the “People of Like Minds” WhatsApp group on Sunday, 11th August, 2025, via a Zoom meeting. I wrote the text before attending the meeting, where three other persons made presentations like mine, and a few people asked questions and made comments. My position remains unchanged on the matter of a Christian sister marrying a Muslim man, as stated above. I, however, would wish to add: That a Christian woman can marry a Muslim man, but it must happen within what I will call a “regulated system”. While Islam is an incorrect depiction of the Christian message, it still believes in one God who made the heavens and the earth – a tenet of faith that Christians hold also. It means that a couple could share this simple tenet of faith to build a home that honours God, and also raise children with a fear of God. I will therefore recommend that couples who might wish to marry in this manner should undergo extensive marriage counselling. If I have the opportunity to be involved with such a couple, I would try to investigate the worldview of the couple. I would also present the gospel message to the man, with the hope that he would understand that this is the worldview that will characterise his wife’s stay in his house. I would not marry them in the church I pastor – lest I give liberty to more interfaith marriages. And I will explain to the lady that she is taking a risk that could return to hunt her. If she is willing to take the step into marriage nonetheless, I will support the couple prayerfully and watch to see what God will bring out of it. I add this latter position in this postscript because I feel that, beyond the boundaries that we set for ourselves with religious dogmas, God might occasion a union like this for a greater purpose. I also continue to keep in mind that my siblings and I are products of an interfaith marriage, and God was involved with it all.
Deji Yesufu is the pastor of Providence Reformed Baptist Church Ibadan. He is the author of HUMANITY. He can be reached at [email protected]
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